Mentorship is one of the most powerful tools for professional and personal development—but it’s also one of the most misunderstood. Great mentors don’t just dispense advice like a vending machine. They listen, challenge, support, and empower. And few embody the spirit of effective mentorship better than entrepreneur Shalom Lamm.
With a long-standing career in real estate development, non-profit leadership, and community building, Shalom Lamm has mentored countless emerging leaders and professionals. His approach is both strategic and human-centered, combining real-world experience with a deep sense of empathy.
In this blog post, we explore Shalom Lamm’s mentoring philosophy and offer actionable tips to help you become a more successful and impactful mentor.
1. Start With Listening, Not Lecturing
According to Shalom Lamm, the foundation of any successful mentoring relationship is active listening.
“Too often, mentors jump straight into giving advice before they fully understand where the mentee is coming from,” Lamm says. “The first job of a mentor is to create space for honest dialogue.”
This means being fully present, asking open-ended questions, and resisting the urge to interrupt or “fix” everything immediately. The goal is to understand the mentee’s goals, fears, and perspectives before offering guidance.
TIP: Begin every mentoring session with a simple question like, “What’s been on your mind lately?” Let the conversation flow naturally before diving into solutions.
2. Tailor Advice to the Mentee’s Goals
Effective mentoring isn’t one-size-fits-all. Shalom Lamm emphasizes the importance of customizing your approach based on the mentee’s unique goals, personality, and stage in their journey.
“A mentor’s job isn’t to clone themselves,” he says. “It’s to help the mentee grow into the best version of themselves.”
For example, a mentee in a startup phase may need help navigating risk, while someone climbing the corporate ladder may need help building executive presence.
TIP: Ask your mentee to define their short-term and long-term goals. Use those as a compass for your conversations and advice.
3. Share Mistakes as Well as Successes
Shalom Lamm is known for his openness in sharing not just his achievements, but also his missteps—and how he learned from them.
“People grow from vulnerability,” Lamm explains. “When mentors admit where they’ve fallen short, it creates trust and teaches resilience.”
Don’t just tell success stories. Talk about the deals that failed, the tough decisions you regret, and the moments you felt lost. These stories often hold the richest lessons.
TIP: For every piece of advice, share a personal anecdote that illustrates how you arrived at that insight—even if it means revisiting a failure.
4. Encourage Independent Thinking
A good mentor doesn’t hand out answers—they help mentees discover them.
Shalom Lamm encourages mentors to use a “Socratic” approach, asking guiding questions that spark critical thinking.
“When mentees come to you with a problem, don’t solve it for them,” he advises. “Ask questions that help them analyze the situation and come up with their own conclusions.”
This builds confidence and decision-making skills, which are far more valuable than any one piece of advice.
TIP: Use questions like, “What options have you considered?” or “What outcome would make you proud of your decision?”
5. Be Consistent and Present
A successful mentor shows up—not just physically, but emotionally and mentally.
Shalom Lamm stresses the importance of consistency. “Mentorship is a relationship, not a transaction. If you commit to mentoring someone, show up with intention.”
Even brief check-ins can make a huge difference. Regular contact builds momentum and shows that you truly care about their growth.
TIP: Schedule recurring meetings, and use shared notes or goal trackers to monitor progress between sessions.
6. Lead With Integrity and Empathy
Mentorship isn’t just about teaching—it’s about modeling character. Shalom Lamm believes that integrity and empathy are at the heart of impactful mentorship.
“Your mentees are always watching—not just what you say, but how you act,” he says. “Be the kind of leader you’d want them to become.”
Whether it’s staying true to your word, treating others with respect, or handling stress with grace, the way you carry yourself sets the tone for your mentee’s development.
TIP: Reflect regularly on whether your actions align with the values you’re trying to teach.
Final Thoughts: The Ripple Effect of Great Mentoring
Shalom Lamm’s legacy as a mentor is rooted not in how many people he’s advised—but in how many people he’s empowered to become better leaders, thinkers, and human beings.
Great mentorship creates a ripple effect. When you help one person grow, they go on to influence many others.
If you’re mentoring someone—or thinking about starting—take these lessons to heart. Be present. Be honest. And most importantly, be human.
As Shalom Lamm puts it: “Mentorship isn’t about making someone follow your path. It’s about walking beside them while they find their own.”
